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Parenting

asked Her Majesty’s Government what strategies they are developing to encourage effective parenting. The noble Baroness said: My Lords, I am delighted to have secured this debate and that it has attracted so much interest. Apart from the distinguished cast today, many other noble Lords have indicated how important they think the issue of effective parenting is. I look forward to the Minister’s response setting out government strategies. I am honoured that the noble Baroness, Lady Tonge, has chosen to make her maiden speech in the debate. I have long admired her, both personally and professionally. I sought the debate because I am passionate about examining what influences children and young people in   order that they might achieve their potential—socially, intellectually, psychologically and academically. Parenting is, of course, key to that. I should declare an interest as the chairman of the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Children, a board member of the Trust for Study of Adolescence, a school governor in an inner city primary school and also as a parent and grandparent. I am grateful to a number of organisations for their ideas and expertise which they have shared with me, especially the National Family and Parenting Institute, Parentline Plus, the Parenting Education and Support Forum, NSPCC and Barnardo’s; and Sure Start has, as always, provided me with valuable insights into parenting strategies. Parenting is of course the primary influence on a child’s development. The vast majority of parents want the best for their children; sadly, that best does not always materialise. We need to look at the reasons why. We know which parenting strategies are helpful to children, so the question is: how do we as a society encourage parenting skills? I shall first set out some concerns, briefly look at what research and help lines tell us about parenting and then I will explore some possible ways forward. I shall end by asking the Minister, who I know is also passionate about children’s achievement, if he will hold a meeting with interested parties to discuss the issue further. There are different types of parenting—and other noble Lords will discuss that—young parents, older parents, lone parents, adoptive parents, step parents, dysfunctional parents, parents of different cultures, people who parent children in care and some grandparents who parent. And there are different kinds of children—different abilities, different temperaments, those with special needs and so on. There are common factors which make for effective parenting and factors which deprive a child of emotional support, skills and nurturing. For nurturing is what parenting is all about. It transcends material well-being; it puts the child at the centre of care; it sets boundaries and behaviour about what is right and wrong; and it encourages the achievement of potential. When parenting goes wrong the child is severely disadvantaged. Parenting is a difficult job, for which we give little training. It does not always come naturally, but parents can be helped. Would we put a teacher into a classroom with no training? Would we put someone who drives a bus or operates machinery into a job with no training? The people who do such jobs need not simply information but also skills and to practise of skills before they are let loose into a classroom or on the road. We would not dream of simply giving somebody a leaflet about how to drive a car. How much more important is parenting? And many parents after the initial childcare messages are left to it. It is fantastic to see this Government’s concern for families and their related policies. We have the working tax credit, the 10-year strategy for childcare, Home-Start, Sure Start and the implications of the Children and Adoption Bill, building on Every Child Matters. It will be interesting to monitor the impact of those initiatives. Meanwhile, there are deep concerns about child and adolescent behaviour, highlighted in the media. Not all those concerns will be solved by ASBOs or by putting young people into the criminal justice system, where sometimes they learn even worse behaviour. Some are lucky enough to get involved in parenting programmes in that system. Recently, I saw a moving video about a young father in prison learning to read to a small child and increase his communication skills. The families of prisoners need particular help if they are to recover. But why wait until someone is in difficulty? Difficulties start early and tend to repeat themselves. In the primary school where I have been a governor for many years we see children entering school at four or five who have never seen a book, let alone turn the pages, who are already aggressive towards other children and adults, and who have almost no social skills. That must be down to inadequate parenting. We need to be as blunt as that but also offer ways out of damage done to children. Fortunately, my school does a good job with children and parents. But some of those children will be the illiterates and the violent of the future. What is to be done? Measures such as Sure Start will not yet touch some parents. One research finding indicates that some parents do not know how to seek help and are isolated. They have no community of family or friends. Tackling poverty is important but it is not the only answer. A recent research report by Desforges on family education of pupil achievement states:"““The most important finding . . .  is that parental involvement in the form of ‘at-home good parenting’ has a significant positive effect on children’s achievement . . .  even after all other factors shaping attainment have been taken out of the equation””." That is powerful stuff. Goldman’s work on emotional intelligence points to the significance of learning from an early age how to communicate and the importance of becoming well adjusted. That in turn has an impact on academic achievement throughout life. Other research indicates that good communication from parents relays, often indirectly, values and morals, including sexual behaviour and other health issues. David Quinton stresses the importance of support and inter-agency working. There is vast evidence for the importance of parenting schools. Parents call helplines in crisis, and it is wonderful that they are there. They call about isolation; child development; health, including drugs and sex; adolescent problems and crime. They often need help from specialist agencies. So what can we do? Parenting education programmes must be free, and parents should be encouraged to attend them. They need to tackle issues of child development and how to access, use and give support. Other materials such as videos and magazines are useful but not everyone uses them. We could do more before people become parents, and might prevent people getting into difficulty in the first place. Personal, social and health education in schools has been shown to increase pupils’ ability to communicate, improve relationships and gain self-esteem. I think that it should be the centre of the school curriculum. Without those attributes, some children will not learn, as is clearly shown by the school where I am a governor, where some children do well academically because their social needs are emphasised. Confident people with good self-esteem make for children with the same qualities. We have a subject in schools called citizenship. What better could we do for citizens than help them to become better parents? Learning about child development before a parenthood crisis begins is surely important. I have seen, in my experience as a teacher, schemes that help adolescents look at what it means to be a parent and how to communicate. Every adolescent boy or girl should have something like that built into their education. Can we talk about this more with organisations concerned about families and parenting? We need to consider what works, as well as what goes wrong. There is a leadership group on school behaviour and discipline, but I am asking for something more that fundamentally examines and makes recommendations about parenting—the hardest, the most rewarding job of all.