---

Parenting

My Lords, I certainly add my congratulations to my noble friend on her stirring maiden speech. As a Whip, I look forward to arranging for her to intervene in many of our future debates. I am intrigued by the question of the noble Baroness, Lady Massey of Darwen, because I wonder how much influence any government can have directly on parenting as opposed to supporting parents with facilities such as peace, economic activity, stable environment, health, education and social work. In the real world—if I can still remember it—I spent 20 years in the social services and in criminal justice, as well as four years with the building industry and, at the same time, eight years with the reserve forces. Social work training—at least in the late 1960s—went to great lengths to stress the uniqueness of the individual. Social work was based on the need for the external nurturing of some individuals in the pursuit of that uniqueness—or, to put it another way, to assist each person to find their own niche and to do so on a non-judgmental basis. Obviously there are limits and some have to compromise on their perceived niche if it is unlawful or grossly anti-social. I am sure that my college tutors would be proud of my historical recall because social work today is now about assisting people into conformity. However, it is not my intention to use my brief intervention in this debate to drool over my idealistic adolescence; what I am most interested in today—and in the longer period—is what the Government can do for step-families. I should therefore declare an interest—which is far from pecuniary—in that I have been a step-parent of five for the past 31 years. My step-family are now aged from 43 to 35, if I have calculated correctly their ages, and there are now eight grandchildren. However, I married into a family aged between 13 and four and enjoyed—mostly—being a parent for the remainder of their childhood and onwards. I have observed that it does not end. So what is the point of this outbreak of happy families? I am concerned about the uncertain recognition that is granted to step-children. First, this is no plea for the hereditary peerage—after all, it cannot even recognise daughters. Secondly, the life peerage recognises sons and daughters equally. I think it includes adopted children but definitely excludes step-children. Thirdly, out in the real world, natural and adopted children have superior rights over step-children. I propose that step-children should be granted equal status to adopted children after a substantial period of time, which should include the remainder of their childhood. Those who recall the old apprenticeship system will recognise the process of qualification by servitude. I am proposing something similar. So why not adopt step-children? That may be opposed by their absent parent. In any case, the process has to be completed by 18, an age which is not really the conclusion of childhood. I believe that there should be an instrument of affiliation, an irrevocable status entered into bilaterally and voluntarily between what amounts to two adults who have been in a step-family relationship for a period of, say, 20 years or more. Such an instrument of affiliation would grant equivalent rights to that of childhood adoption. It would not help those who are in a fly-by-night step-family relationship but would recognise the reality of a stable relationship and an ongoing reality. I hope that the Minister might follow up this idea for strengthening an increasing number of families.