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Parenting

My Lords, I thank the noble Baroness, Lady Massey, for introducing this important subject. It is extremely disappointing that we have so little time, as I should have loved to comment on some of the brilliant and interesting speeches that have been made, not least the very touching speech just made by the noble Baroness, Lady Howells. There have been huge changes in the challenges that face parents over the past 75 years, and many of the problems facing our society today stem from the fact that we have failed to manage that change. In all fairness, I should say that this Government have introduced a lot of important initiatives, some of which have been outstandingly successful, and I congratulate them on that. I only have time to touch on two points that are important and which still need to be addressed. First, we would all agree that parenthood should always be an informed choice. Secondly, I should like to touch on the ““dad deficit””. On informed choice, effective contraception today makes it possible to make two separate decisions—first to have a sexual relationship, and secondly to make a lifestyle choice to be a parent. In a healthy society, every young person should have the chance to make an informed choice based on sound information about each of those two major life decisions. In schools today, we teach the mechanics of sex and contraception, and I am sad to say that in most schools that is about all. We are promised emotional and relationship education in schools. In most schools up to now, that has been totally inadequate, largely due to the lack of trained staff, lack of staff time and lack of curriculum time. But it is a hugely important subject. Parenting today cannot rely on instinct; parenting skills need to be taught and learnt. The trouble with teaching parenting to young people in schools is that most young people of school age are not yet really interested in the details of parenting. They are interested in how to form and sustain relationships, and that is what they should be taught in school, plus one other thing that I am just coming to. Experience suggests that it is probably better to teach parenting skills mainly in ante-natal and post-natal settings, at the time when they are particularly relevant. Nevertheless, young people of school age must be given enough knowledge in school to understand the implications of making the major lifestyle choices to become sexually active and to become a parent. They must learn about the costs, sacrifices and responsibilities of being a parent. In particular, boys must learn that they share those responsibilities; and girls must learn the implications of raising their child without a committed father. One of the things that is needed to put those messages across but which is lacking is a clear picture of what our society believes are the responsibilities of parenthood. In an interesting recent study by Clem Henricson and published by the NFPI, the point is made that the law and the different departments of state send different messages about what the responsibilities of parents are. There is undoubtedly a case for considering some sort of code for parents. I turn now to the ““dad deficit””. I draw attention to the imbalance today between the number of women who want to be committed mothers and the number of men who want to be committed fathers. The statistics suggest that it could even be as great as about 20 per cent. It contributes to the high level of children who grow up in single parent families—now some 27 per cent of families—and, undoubtedly to the increasing level of family breakdown. Will the Minister seriously consider funding research on the attitudes of men to making the long-term lifestyle choice to be a committed parent and on the reasons why they are not making that choice? If we had that information, there might be a pragmatic case for measures to make the choice of long-term committed fatherhood a less unattractive proposition, compared with other lifestyle choices for young men today. As a nation, we need more young men who want to settle down to a stable, committed family life which would give their children the stability, security and love that they will need if they are to thrive and achieve their full potential.